Humility Check

Two things can happen after you've started shining:

1. PRIDEFUL - You became a self-absorbed shining star consumed by your own flares. You keep posting or bragging about your accomplishments and if there are anything new about yourself which is almost everything. For example, your new looks, new guitar, new nail polish or even your new pen or toothbrush . The intervals of your posts are only 30 minutes or less. You flood the news feed like crazy. If anyone gives you a negative comment, you pretend you didn't hear (or read) them. You ignore corrections. You always think you are right. You always find a way to put your name and accomplishments in every topic.

2. HUMBLE - You acknowledge other people's gifts and talents. You brag your friends' accomplishments and never use that to lift you on a higher position. You mention who gave your new gadgets and stuff. You basically give others a chance to shine in the news feed. You share your own knowledge to pass on what you have learned. You accept comments and check yourself if it is true. In the process of checking, even if it was said in a bad or nice way, you try to change. You are willing to learn and improve from those corrections. You ask other people's opinion and that includes the other team's side. Most importantly, you know that winning isn’t everything and you don’t have to win.

There is a thin line between Humility and False Humility. One author said, "False humility is pride in disguise. I know because I’m a prideful jerk who sometimes likes to pretend he’s humble. Humility is an interesting thing. We are to be striving for it, yet, the only time we can be sure we’ve attained it, is when we stop looking at ourselves…when we don’t know that we’ve attained it. As soon as you realize(start to think) you are humble, you stop being humble."

In Hebrews 12:1-2, it says, "Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Therefore, focusing on Jesus, instead of ourselves, is true Humility. No one does like Jesus Christ. No one shines brighter than what He did, is doing or will do. Jesus Christ is the only reason why we shine like stars. All glory and praises about us belongs to the reflection of a Christ-centered life.

Try to look at yourself and see if Jesus Christ is alive in you. That is the true test of a humble heart.

Facing Your Giants

Now what if you are ready to shine, ready to get out from your comfy shell and be the better version of you then suddenly a Bully Giant is blocking your way to greatness?

Giants appear in different types.

MR.CRANKY NEGATIVE

Like King Saul in 1 Samuel 17:33, he said to David, “You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a young man, and he has been a warrior from his youth.”

He only sees your weaknesses and your flaws. He thinks you cannot contribute something awesome and great out of your weaknesses. Remember that this type of giant is mostly logical and a realist. Sometimes, he might be thinking about your welfare but then again, if you're not as pragmatic as them, remind him that there is nothing bad in trying. Thank him for his concern and later give him updates how are you doing outside the fence. You might encourage him someday to at least take a peek outside.

MR. SENIORITY

Read 1 Samuel 17:28 "When Eliab, David’s oldest brother, heard him speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, 'Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the wilderness? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle."

He seems to be your guru in different ways because probably he is older than you or joined the group earlier than you. He believes seniority rules and all new comers are subject to his leadership. You might probably need to ask yourself if submitting to all of his suggestions will benefit you or simply him. You have to reinstate why you have become friends. Most relatives and family members cling to this ideology since they all became part of your life first. Pro-actively solicit their feedback. Talk to them individually because the Mr. (or Mrs.) Seniority might bully his way in a group. Now, if there are only few Mr. & Mrs. Seniority that seem to be against your path to improvement, prepare your way out to fly like an eagle.

LITTLE MISS JEALOUS

This, I believe, is the most notorious among the giants. She can be your trusted friend or your beloved sister. You might not see this coming as you shine brighter and better than her. She manipulates you and may even spread lies and do whatever it takes to bring you down. She might have had her prime season but you have to tell her that each person has her or his own time to step up. If she lost her track, there are several reasons and you should not be part of her dying flame. The best thing you can do is to apologize for what happened to her (if there are any), remind her that she can still do other and better things and you are not her competitor.

Personally, I recoil whenever a friend confessed that she is jealous of me. I had to know more about the reason behind the jealously and if she would never want to resolve that, our friendship is over. They say that competition is healthy but if the other ends up being choked by fame and selfishness, then the competition has to end. We can still be friends but if I smell competition, I go to another direction and perhaps pave another way to be awesome for the Lord.

Dealing with enviousness can be another topic for me to write about. For now if you think someone in your circle of friends is acting up like Little Miss or Mr. Jealous or perhaps you are the Little Miss Jealous, I found a link from Bible.org which gives the most Biblical appoach to deal with envy or jealousy. Click here.

Single, Busy and Proud!

Below is the list of things you can do while waiting for your Princess or Prince Charming. This might give you an idea why some people are staying single for a long time or literally made a personal decision to stay single or be a blessed single forever. I can't blame them. I honestly thought I would be a blessed single myself.

Here is the check list:

1.) Improve Thy Self

I am talking about your personality and perception in life. Search for the 'Better You' instead of searching Mr. Right. There are tons of Christian Self-Help book you may read such as "Become a Better You" By Joel Osteen and "Battlefield of the Mind" by Aunt Joyce Meyer and "A Woman and Her God" by Aunt Elizabeth Moore. I know some of you would prefer reading romantic chick flick novels like "Twilight" and "Hunger Games" but honestly, these books can not really make you a better person but are only teaching you to be someone that does not really exist. Come to think of it, these books are only in the Fiction section. Get it?

2.) Sharpen Thy Skills

If talent runs in your blood then why won't you take extra lessons to hone your skills? Don't be content by merely imitating someone. Be the one who rocks. If you have a niche in singing, acting, drawing, cooking, baking, dancing, playing musical instruments, writing, photography, beat-boxing or surfing then start somewhere. Join interest clubs, organizations or community groups to help you improve. You are never too young (or old) to start something.

3.) Spread the Love

I am not convincing you to be an extrovert but at least get out from your nutshell and let other people know that you are alive, existing and let them know that you love them. Enough with the 'emo style'. Put down your headphones and communicate with another human being. Ask your friends how are they doing. Surprise a friend (not your crush!) with a message, a tweet or maybe a post card. If it doesn't hurt you much, make new friends. Hug your mom, dad, uncles and aunty. Make coffee for everyone at home. Give your dog a walk and play with him/her in the park. Invite your sibling(s) to hang out. Just get out from your 'cave'.

4) Be a Volunteer

Be part of a community organization to help out the less fortunate. Start in your own school and/or church. You really don't have to be a super hero to help. Just lend your time and hands. Don't wait until you get a job and become rich. Ironically, you won't have the time and resources by then (Laugh out loud). You are already blessed so simply ignite the fire in you. It's time to shine!

The Classic LCM

He walks in the room and you don't know if you need to fix your hair or your breath still smells like peperoni and onion. He says 'hi' to everyone he meets in the room and even it's too crowded, he managed to go beside you while you pretend he's not there and staying busy. You smell a familiar cologne and the idea that he is looking at you and he fixes your hair to see your eyes is making you smile up to your ears.

Is that Love? Does normal friends do that? You keep asking yourself but the answer does not matter for now. You love that he's there beside you and not with other girls. You stop pretending to be busy and quickly you say 'hi' and say 'how long have you've been here?' though you've been looking at your watch and checking your phone if he texted or made a call.

Can love really wait? How long should you wait? How can you wait?

Maybe you have met someone in that scenario. You guys are friends but you feel that something special is happening between you two -- and you guys are young. What are you going to do?

To give you an idea, LCM stands for Love, Courtship and Marriage. Some have already added the letter F which means Friendship. There are heaps of Christian books about this topic and I agree with them that you stay virgin and pure for your one and only. Also, I hope you can consider some points. Plainly speaking:

1) You guys can wait and stay friends but that does not mean you stop talking to each other and have fellowship. Stay connected but not clingy. Try to meet some other people and avoid making him the center of your universe;

2) While in waiting, try to make some research. Conduct a survey by asking your parents, married siblings, cousins and people close to you on how they met and fell in love;

3) And while waiting and getting busy with school and other priorities in life, you might end up discovering that you guys are perfectly together as friends. Never ever speak ill about her/him if in case she/he drifted away. You guys are just friends and it's good you stayed that way then let go.

4) Avoid bashing bitterness on Facebook, Twitter, etc. It might be hard to some but I hope you can try your best and cry it all to God who loves you more than ever. If it helps, share this to someone you trust and pray for you.

I hope you'll appreciate being good friends and treating each other with high respect as brothers and sisters. Most of us have regrets doing things our own way and got tired of waiting at some point. Keep close to God and never abandon your relationship with Jesus. You'll never know if you'll be meeting your Princess or Prince Charming soon.

And lastly, Enjoy waiting! There are so many things you can do while single! Xxoo

Let's Talk About Your Crush

So who is your crush?

I hope I made you smile or perhaps a little bit blushing while opening this site. Having a crush is all normal. Who doesn't have one? Well unless that person has a total crush with himself or herself and that is, in all aspect, very disturbing.

The problem lies how do you have a crush on someone. It's alright if you have a crush on a TV or Music personality but to be obsess with him or her is a different story. The range of being a fan and obsession are not similar.

Here are the differences:

THE FAN LEVEL

You buy and listen to his or her music most of the time.
You scream when you see him or her on the TV screen.
You downloaded his or her pictures and made it your computer or mobile background.
You save up to see him or her in person to watch his or her concerts.


I believe these are normal and acceptable things we do as an avid fan. You are simply enthusiastic and supports your crush's career.

THE OBSESSED LEVEL

You have internalized all the lyrics of his or her songs and became your life verses and believed in your heart that all the songs are about you.
You hate it when other people has a crush on your crush.
You edit his or her picture and paste a picture of yourself beside him or her. Worst is you positioned yourself as if you guys are affectionate towards each other in the picture.
You can die of hunger and never used your money for it's true purpose. You even used your mom's credit card to download in iTunes.


I believe obsession is a serious deficiency and I hope parents could determine the differences of being a fan from being a delusional fan. Some girls or boys having these kind of behaviour may have troubles having a crush with his or her friends in the future. Some never graduated the fanatic stage and thought the same applies in building up proper friendship with the opposite gender that can lead to mature love.

I have encountered a teenager asking for a prayer request because she could not sleep for days because her crush has stopped texting her. I want to blame the media and all the crappy young love dramas that have influenced teenagers. I, myself, have been a victim of these stuff and I found myself having mood swings over my early teenage life. I guess being disciplined by my mom is something I am truly thankful for.

My prayer is that you nourish Self-Control and be busy with other things to improve your being and future with God. I will definitely write about having a wonderful and meaningful friendship with the opposite gender in the next few days.

Knowing Your Ultimate Vocation

We had a very interesting topic with our connect on one meeting. I think about three people asked how can a person know what he/she should do to know their ultimate calling. They generalized it by saying they are all in a crossroad and feel like they want to do something else.

I think me and my husband are one of those few people who know that we love God and His church at a very young age. He wanted to be a Pastor while in College and he said his mother told him several times that he is going to be a Pastor. Me, on the other hand, spent most of my free time in church and shared to friends that I wanted to be a wife of a pastor no matter that kind job I might end up with. Hence, I spent the first four years after college trying to figure out what I really want to do. To my delight, I gained a huge number of friends and acquittance that led me to finally meet my husband.

It sounds easy for us in the ministry because most of us knew our calling right away at a young age. Some kind of the same way how Samuel or David was called.

But how would you know if you are joining the work force as a doctor, as an accountant, as an engineer, as a dentist, as a teacher, as a journalist, as a fashion designer, as a pastor, a singer-composer, as a social worker, as a nurse or as a TV personality for goodness sake? The options are too many.

Here are my suggestions:

KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS

Most Christian and Career Counsellors give questionnaires for a person to find their 'calling' or vocation. It's a personality and skills test to know your strengths and your weaknesses. Talk to them first to help you assess your strengths and skills. Most likely they have this type of questionnaires that you can answer on your own phase and not on a box or school setting.

MAKE A SURVEY

For some, they trust their families, their parents and siblings to help them decide if they really have to make a career change or where they should go. I put much weight on family's feedback since I believe the financial and emotional support also depends on them. You are blessed if you have very generous parents or siblings. For some people, they have to earn and find a mean-time job to support the decision.

SPEND TIME ALONE WITH GOD

Above the first two suggestions, seek God's guidance. There are times that your own family and friends do not make sense and are too busy with themselves or perhaps lost in the labyrinth like you. I know some of my friends enjoyed a year of rest after they've finished a degree and some took a certificate course before really entering a university. Spend time nurturing your soul with God's word and devote a lot of talking time with God. If, for instance, you don't have the luxury to be jobless due to financial situation, God can still meet you in your mean-time job like Moses and David as shepherds in the field.

Pray that God will direct your path and lead you where you will be more fruitful not only financially but also in your personal and spiritual growth. I love what Jesus said in John Chapter 15:

"V.5 If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. V6 If you do not remain in Me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. V7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. V8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be My disciples."